Will my dog be all right with my baby? Will my dog still be happy after the baby is born? For many expectant parents, especially those whose dog has been the “baby” for a long time, these concerns top the list. The good news is that most dogs actually do quite well with a new baby after an initial rocky period. The bad news is that this initial rocky period happens right when most parents are least physically and emotionally equipped to handle any trouble.
With some preparation in the months before the baby’s arrival, the transition can be so much smoother for everyone. Start enforcing any new baby-related rules ahead of time. For example, if your dog will no longer be allowed to jump up on you, or be on the bed, or in the baby’s room once it’s no longer the den, make the change now. There will be enough changes with the baby’s presence and it’s best not to stress your dog with any more changes than necessary at that time. Before the baby arrives, teach your dog to be comfortable in a crate or shut off in another room. It is a simple fact of life that sometimes dogs and kids need to be separated, even if it’s briefly, and it helps to have a dog who will happily go someplace else.
Since you will be spending a lot of time feeding your baby, teach you dog that when the baby eats, good things happen. Condition your dog to associate you feeding the baby with getting a Kong (indestructible hollow rubber toy) stuffed with treats, great chew bone, or favorite toy. Practice before the baby arrives. Sit where you expect to feed the baby most often, and once you are seated, give your dog something wonderful. Your dog will start to enjoy seeing you sit there because he knows he’ll get something good. This is better than having your dog hate to see you feed the baby because he knows he will be ignored for a while. Keep a basket of dog goodies within easy reach of where you’ll feed the baby.
Before the baby arrives, teach your dog to feel happy when he hears a baby crying. Get a recording from anybody with a baby, and when the crying sound is heard, give your dog a treat. Do this dozens of times a day until your dog hears the baby crying and looks at you expectantly. Then, when your own baby cries, continue to give your dog a treat.
It’s worth the extra effort to introduce the dog to the baby properly. If possible, have somebody bring an item of clothing or blanket that the baby wore. Have the dog smell it and then get a treat. You want the dog to associate the baby’s smell with feeling happy, and treats are the way to most dogs’ hearts. If possible, do this a few times before the baby and dog actually meet. After giving birth or adopting the baby, greet your dog without the baby. Your dog will be excited to see you and it’s wise to avoid having the first interaction being the dog jumping up while you hold the baby and then the dog getting yelled at because you are nervous. If two parents are involved, each of you should come in to greet the dog without the baby. Let the dog sniff the baby (I recommend directing the dog to the baby’s feet at first to avoid licking by the dog or screaming by the baby) and then give the dog a treat. Give the dog something to keep her occupied such as a rawhide bone or chew toys after she sniffs the baby a few times so that she does not remain focused on the baby too long.
You can’t devote as much time to your dog right after the baby comes as you used to beforehand, so plan in advance for your dog to get what he needs during the first few weeks after the baby is born. Attention and exercise are the main concerns. Having a baby is one of those happy events that everyone wants to be a part of, so you’ll get lots of offers for help. Tell any friends, especially the ones who are intimidated by babies, “It would be helpful if you would you take the dog for a walk or play fetch in the backyard for 20 minutes.” Most dog-loving friends will be thrilled to be able to help in such an enjoyable way. Consider hiring a dog walker for a few weeks, or sending your dog to doggy day care if he would enjoy it. By planning ahead for your dog to get some extra attention, exercise and stimulation, you can prevent his quality of life from plummeting when the baby arrives. Even five minutes, if that’s all the time you’ve got, can make a big difference for your dog. Avoiding the guilt and worry that can result when a dog’s needs are not met allows people to concentrate on being parents, which should be the real focus.
Before the baby arrives, it is a good idea to consult with a behaviorist, especially if you have any reason, even just a nagging doubt, that your dog will not be an angel with the baby. While most dogs adjust to a new baby, occasionally there actually is a serious problem. If your dog is growling or staring at the baby with a stiff body posture, snapping, trying to lie on top of the baby, or not letting everyone freely approach the baby, it is best to keep the dog and baby away from each other and consult a professional behaviorist to get an evaluation for safety’s sake. If your dog seems sulky or anxious, yawning, drooling, and whining a lot, if the dog avoids the baby completely, or has lost interest in toys, food or affection, a professional consult is also in order, for the dog’s sake.
Preparation and acceptance of change are your best allies. Remember that none of your lives will ever be the same, and that’s more than okay—it’s wonderful!
---Karen B. London
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